Overcoming jealousyHaving low self esteem can have a major effect on your entire life…personal, professional, social, financial.It can also affect your relationship with family, friends, coworkers and lovers.
What you'll most likely experience when you have low self self esteem and dating is that you’ll be uncomfortable and uneasy most of the time.
Why? (I always like to ask why; it helps you come up with your own answers. Which are the best anyway.
Now here’s my answer. I believe that some of the worries and problems that arise with low self esteem and dating are… JealousyNot a very fun combination, hey. And unfortunately, each relationship with be the same. Because it doesn’t matter who you’re with what matters is who YOU are. In order to have a great or even good relationship you must have a great relationship with yourself. You must treat yourself with love, acceptance, respect, compassion, honest and courtesy before you can ever give these kinds of emotions or feelings to anyone else. So before you go looking for Mr. or Miss. right, work on making yourself the kind of person who attracts healthy, uplifting and compassionate people. Once you build that deep loving relationship with yourself it’s a lot easier to build that same kind of relationship with someone else. Even if you’re in a relationship right now you can still change the person YOU are and recreate or reestablish that deep connection with the person you’re with right now. If that person doesn’t want to change or brings you down for it then you must believe and know that YOU can NEVER change another person. Change is one of those unique things in life that you can never make or do it for someone else. Only yourself. So I’m not telling you to ditch your current partner, unless that person has no interest in changing themselves or the negative relationship you two have together. However though, if that’s the deal you must get rid of that negative emotional baggage and start completely new with someone else. Trust me it’s a lot easer to leave a bad relationship then it is to build a good one after you work on yourself. Okay now before you pack up your partners things and throw them out on the lawn here are a few things you can try to save the relationship and turn it around… Show your partner you want to change by doing routine things differently. Tell him/her that you love them no less then twice a day. This could be morning and night. Hug your partner no less then twice a day. Same thing this could be morning and night as well. Plan a monthly or weekly date night for just the two of you. Leave little post it notes in place only your partner would find. Places like lunch bag, briefcase, makeup bag, purse, wallet. You get the idea. Discuss all major and minor decision together. Never and I mean never make BIG decisions without discussing it first. Like the purchase of a new car, quitting a job, switching daycare. Minor decisions make a hugh difference too. These ideas are not to make you more controlling but to make you less controlling. The more decisions the two of you can make together the better. This will ease the tension and stress and it will make both of you feel better about the relationship. You may even begin to feel like a real couple. How great would that be?
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